​I used to be beautiful – tall and slim, long, red, wavy hair, clear blue eyes – and so full of fear of what that would attract.

I spent 12 years in Catholic school, being told how ‘sinful’ I was for even thinking I looked good. We were told that anyone attracted to us because of the way we looked was likely evil and would definitely harm us. The female body was something to hide, something to be ashamed of. I even remember one elderly nun telling our class that if we were caught in the shower, naked, when the house caught fire, we best allow ourselves to burn rather than be seen in that state.  I did not grow up in a Middle Eastern country. My country was not ruled by the Taliban. This was the United States of America, yet it wasn’t much different than what we see today and criticize others for.

So yes, I was afraid of being seen as beautiful. Worse than that, I didn’t believe the men who told me that I was. I was sure they were lying to get what they wanted. I was a mess when it came to intimacy.

In my late teens I had a job working downtown in a big city often until after dark. I took the bus, and when the weather was wicked with temps below zero, it was miserable waiting outside. So I would seek out any place I could to warm up while I waited. One such place was a small record shop. It took so much courage to walk into this tiny shop knowing that the men who ran it, not much older than me, would immediately start making comments, ‘what was I looking for’ (wink, wink), ‘I’m sure we’ve got what you want’ (grin), ‘you look really cold – we can warm you up’. HELP! I could hear the voices of the nuns in my head, ‘better to get frostbite than to flirt with these boys.’
Where was my voice? Where was my power? This is not what I came here to be – fearful, hiding, embarrassed by my body, my wild hair, my feminine energy.
As I think back now on the emerging woman I was, it is with sadness for so much time wasted in fear and hiding.

Even in my marriages I never truly believed that I deserved to be loved. I found myself hiding so much that my body changed and took on layers of ‘hiding energy’. So many of us do this. We silently plead, ‘don’t look at me’, ‘don’t see me too closely’. We show only the parts of ourselves that we think will be approved, valued and hide the rest. We lose ourselves as we strive to be what we believe the other wants. It becomes our first nature to put ourselves second. We believe what others tell us and we tell ourselves this is all we deserve.

Today I find myself alone for the first time in my life. No husband or children to take care of. Only me. It’s been interesting to experience what taking care of me feels like. It’s such a new feeling. There is freedom. There is discovery. There are also those times when is would be so great to share all of this with someone close. Then there is the hardest part – falling in love with myself. Do I deserve to be loved? Is it truly possible to love all of me?

What I know to be true in the deepest part of my soul, is that every cell in my body longs to feel love. Every cell in my body is eager to be exactly what I would like it to be, and love is the key. Love is the fuel that ignites the fire of regeneration, self-expression and vitality. Love of self creates the undefinable but incredibly powerful force in each of us that attracts all we desire in this life.
We can not get this force from anyone or anything outside of us. It must come from within. When that fire is ignited and burning strong, we are powerful beyond measure. I believe this is why so many of us were taught self-loathing by those in power. They understood and feared what we all could become if we learned to love ourselves and honor our beauty, our power, our Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine energy.
​
Today, as I walk this new path, I am learning to truly see myself and love what I see. I’m not that same young girl, nor would I want to be. I am wiser, more confident, more aware and so grateful for all that I have created in this life – all the lessons I learned – all the experiences – all the love.
I know I’m not finished. I look forward to what else I choose to create. My wish is that every young girl on the planet can know that she is beautiful, know that her beauty is part of her power, and recognize the Divine Goddess energy in herself.  She can then use that energy to create more love here now.
 

My reasons are personal to me - or so I thought at the time. Then I discovered that quite a few others experienced the same thing. 

I have always known that I am sensitive to the emotions of those around me. Maybe a bit too sensitive. I feel their pain as though it is happening to me. Over time I have been able to shield myself a bit, but it's still there. This morning, watching just a few minutes of the news about Kobe, his daughter and the others in that horrible crash, my heart started hurting and it was hard to breathe. I had to turn it off. I had to come back to myself, get grounded, remember that these beautiful souls - while no longer in body - are with us always. Breathe. 

So what has that got to do with giving up meat? 
It occurred to me one day in meditation that the anxiety, even unfounded fear, that I had experienced most of my life was not mine. It was coming from the animals I was eating every day. 

What? How is that possible?

There is science behind this. It has to do with hormones which are directly related to emotions. Imagine you are a young steer and life has been pretty good - all that grass and sunshine. You know you are one of the lucky ones. Then one day you are forced into a big box - crowded with all of your fellow steers- and you are moving. You don't know where or why so anxiety starts to build. Stress hormones are released into your blood. The box stops moving and you are moved into a crowded pen, and you smell fear. The stress hormones build. Then you smell something you can't really identify. It has a powerful energy of not only fear but panic. You also start to panic. What is happening? Why?  The stress hormones are flooding your system - then it is over. 

I apologize for the graphic nature of that last paragraph, but for me it was a huge awareness that I was consuming flesh that was full of these stress hormones. I was basically eating a big dose of hormones packed with the fear, anxiety, even panic of the animals on my plate. 

So here is what I discovered 3 or so years ago when I first gave up meat and dairy. I started to sleep better. I had fewer nightmares. I woke up feeling lighter, a bit more hopeful. 

At first I wasn't sure of the correlation, so I would experiment. Eat some chicken or beer and see how I felt. Yup. The stress came back - even to the point of panic attacks. Now I understood where those panic attacks, that I had experienced so often throughout my life, were coming from. 

So that's my first reason for becoming vegan. As I learned more, the many other reasons made sense to me as well. 
For example - did you know that there is lots of research linking a diet of meat and dairy to heart disease, auto-immune disease, diabetes and so much more? 
Please take a moment to listen to this doctor's personal story. Then share it with people you love. 
https://www.instagram.com/tv/B702DOTI5nu/?igshid=btvn9zxbp2f&fbclid=IwAR22odAz5L9jR-Ojr89lXbY5Z4krisI8CpjIqXjkNaQvZkLvWwICNBNWyO0

Thanks for reading this far. I would love your feedback, what have you noticed about how your body reacts to foods?

If you want to know more about switching to a vegan diet, I am happy to help. 

much love ~ 
Mary

Interesting that Black Spruce is the oil that wanted to support us this week. 
As we move into a new decade, we might be facing uncertainty, or even fear. 
The message that is coming from Black Spruce is "You are protected, I've got you."

Of all the grounding and stabilizing oils, the spruces are the most effective. 

Black Spruce helps us to go with the flow, be more in harmony with nature and all of the cycles in our life. It helps us let go of fear and anxiety - especially anything related to family or past generations. Maybe that's why it's coming up just now as we continue our family celebrations and ring in the New Year. 

Use Black Spruce essential oil whenever you need a little calm or ease. Inhale it from the bottle or from a drop in your palm. Massage the diluted oil on your back or the back or your neck. Definitely diffuse it as the scent is lovely. 

Enjoy this transition into 2020 - so filled with hope and opportunity. 
I send you much love and light for a joyful and abundant new year. 
Always ~ 
Mary

Precious Melissa Essential Oil ~ How to use it.
Melissa, also called Lemon Balm, has been used for centuries when the most powerful remedies are called for. Although modern medicines may try to copy Melissa's healing benefits, the plant's chemistry is a synergistic powerhouse that can not be artificially duplicated.

The tiniest drop of this precious oil can trigger immune responses in the body that you might find hard to believe. 
I know of several people who have used just a touch of Melissa on a beginning cold sore and found no trace of the sore 24 hours later. 

I personally swear by the immune boosting power of the OnGuard+ capsule for any internal ailment. It has the OnGuard blend of oils enhanced with powerful Oregano and Melissa oils. Incredible how fast this combination works when taken at the first sign of colds or flu. 

Emotionally, Melissa is the Oil of Light. Just breathing the oil can help you reconnect to your inner voice and remember who you truly are. It helps to lift you out of darkness and into a more light and easy energy. It's a wonderful oil for those of us living in the cold and often gloomy northern hemisphere. 
Please read more about beautiful Melissa below. 
www.doterra.com/US/en/education/pe/melissa-oil

Then if you would like to experience Melissa for yourself, I am happy to help you with that. It's on sale at 20% off in DEC. 
Wishing you much light this holiday season. 

Do you suffer with Migraines or know someone who does? 
There are so many stories of how the process called Access Bars can eliminate migraines and other pain anywhere in your body. 

Access Bars is an energy process that seems to balance the electronic signals in the brain, open blocked pathways and dissolve stress. We work by holding, in sequence, 32 points on the head. Research has shown this process moves the brain into the deep relaxation of Theta waves - similar to a very deep meditation. Much more on the Bars here. 

A second process I use is Emotional Energy Clearing along with bio-electric frequency stimulation using the WellnessPro machine.  You will feel only a slight buzzing in your body as the frequencies do their magic. During this process, we will work to eliminate a number of other energies that contribute to the recurrence of pain. You can see more here. 

Testimonial
My older son came to me, suffering from a horrible headache and told me that he's never felt such pain before. He lay down on my massage table and I started with his powerband (start of Access Bars). He fell asleep after 3 minutes. For 45 minutes I did everything that felt right. He kept sleeping for another 45 minutes after I had finished. Then he woke up and said thank you. His migraine was gone. Can you imagine how grateful I was?
GABRIELLE

Finally, my first go-to anytime I have a headache or that neck and shoulder tension that often leads to a headache, I reach for the Essential Oil Blend ~ Past Tense. This blend is truly amazing!! We can't believe how fast it works when you simply roll it over the affected area. 
I wonder what else is possible for you?  What would your body like? Freedom from pain? Better sleep? 
​
You can book a free consult to get your questions answered. My wish for you is that your life moves forward with total ease and without pain. 

Love and light ~ 
​Mary

There are steps to Manifesting Anything you desire that you might be missing. I really like how this article spells them out. It's all about the VIBRATION of your body and energy.  How do you get the "right" vibration? How do you keep from falling back into doubt and fear? 
I hope you take a few minutes to read the attached article and consider how you might incorporate these steps to create amazing abundance of health, wealth and joy in your life. 
Namaste ~ 
Mary
​https://blog.mindvalley.com/how-to-manifest

Therapist and filmmaker Danielle Prohom Olson claims that by relaxing  your psoas, or what she terms “the muscle of the soul,” you can reconnect with the powerful energy of the Earth.
The psoas is the only muscle to connect the spine to the legs. The psoas is also linked to the diaphragm through fascia (connective tissue), impacting our fear reflex and breathing. This is due to the connection between the psoas and the reptilian brain, the most ancient inner part of the brain stem and spinal cord.
While you’re walking, a healthy psoas moves with ease, continuously massaging the spine as well as the organs, blood vessels, and nerves of the trunk. This process promotes the flow of fluids throughout the body and creates the feeling of being grounded and centered.
READ  MORE HERE: 
​https://www.collective-evolution.com/2017/01/12/how-to-unlock-your-psoas-use-it-to-decrease-stress/

The Sacred Woman Circle meets every 3rd Friday at noon at the Joyful Healing Playground. 6200 Gisholt Drive. 
Join us to discuss books, share ideas and get support from like-minded women. 
Here is our interview: