What law of attraction is not

Recently I was listening to a brilliant young man speaking about relationships. In his short career he has already coached tens of thousands of men and women on attracting and maintaining a strong relationship. So I was truly surprised when he said that he 'doesn't believe in that Law of Attraction nonsense'.  

At first I was shocked, but then I realized that he likely does not understand what the Law of Attraction (LOA) really is. 
So here is what many people believe and what LOA is not:
- LOA is not making a wish then sitting on the couch while you wait for the Universe to bring it to you. 
- LOA is not repeating happy phrases over and over to make magical things suddenly appear
- LOA is not making sure that you never think a negative thought
- LOA is not spending hours every day concentrating on the thing you want
- LOA is not beating yourself up for blowing everything because you lost your temper
- LOA is not meditating for hours every day
I'm sure there is more, but you hopefully get the idea. 

So what is Law of Attraction? How does it really work? 
You must first understand that you are a vibrational being - meaning that you are pure energy, and the cells in your body are constantly vibrating. Your body and everything around you are affected by your vibration which can range from low and slow (depression, grief) to high and fast (joy, excitement). (article)

The next thing you must understand is that you are an attractor like a giant magnet. However, unlike a magnet, you attract things/people/situations that match your vibration. When you are high on life, joyful, confident, etc. you attract other people who match that vibration. You might attract invitations to parties, speaking engagements, new jobs...  We tend to seek out others who make us feel good about ourselves. So someone who is depressed or living in 'poor me' energy, would not want to hang out with someone who seems really happy.  That would just make the depressed person feel worse. Wouldn't do much for the happy person either. 

Finally you must understand that only you are responsible for how you feel. Truly! You can not blame anyone else. You are a powerful being, and you always have choice. You choose how to respond to absolutely everything in your life. 

When things get tough, no one expects you to be dancing with joy. Emotions and feelings are natural and to be expected. There is no 'bad' emotion. It's how long you allow yourself to feel sad that is your choice. Bring yourself up little by little by focusing on something just a little better than where you are at that moment.  "At least I can breathe... walk... feel safe... get outside..." 
Focus for just a minute or two on something that feels a little better. When you do that, you are changing your vibration, and you are allowing the Universe to show you something even better. You are attracting other things/people/situations/thoughts/feelings by the vibration that you are holding in your body.  That is the Law of Attraction. It is a natural law of the Universe. You don't have to do anything to make it work. It is working all the time everywhere. 

So back to the young relationship expert - he was actually coaching his clients on how to use the Law of Attraction without even knowing it. When he had them be real, be open, be confident and easy in their conversations, actions, etc, he was coaching them on how to be in the best vibration to attract exactly what they wanted. And so it is. 
All the best ~ 
Mary